因为没人能懂，索性不再讲起某段经历——它从此漂离你的人生故事，连记忆本身都开始显得不合时宜。 The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it. 因为没人能懂，索性不再讲起某段经历——它从此漂离你的人生故事，连记忆本身都开始显得不合时宜。
词源etymology
拉丁语 exulans（流亡者、漂泊者）——直接取自漂泊信天翁的学名 Diomedea exulans。 这种鸟一生大部分时间悬在空中，几小时不必扇一次翅膀，极少落地。 一段没人接得住的记忆，就这样飞着。
Latin exulans (exile, wanderer) — lifted straight from the binomial of the wandering albatross, Diomedea exulans, a bird that spends most of its life aloft, hours between wingbeats, rarely landing. A memory nobody can catch flies like that.
背景the story
《晦涩悲伤词典》原帖发布于 2014 年。定义全文（见下方引文）是 DOS 里写得最完整的寓言之一： 一段经历先是失去听众，然后失去讲述，最后连在你自己记忆里的座位也失去了。
留学的人、退伍的人、大病初愈的人，都认得这只鸟。词典未收。
The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows post ran in 2014. The full definition (quoted below) is one of DOS’s most complete parables: an experience loses its audience first, then its telling, and finally its seat in your own memory.
People back from years abroad, from service, from serious illness — they all know this bird. Not in any dictionary.
中文里的邻居neighbors in chinese
辛弃疾早就写过它的动作版：「欲说还休，却道天凉好个秋。」 那是 exulansis 发生的那一瞬——话到嘴边，换了天气。 差别在时态：稼轩写的是一次「算了」，exulansis 是无数次「算了」之后，那段经历的下场。
Xin Qiji wrote its action shot eight centuries early: 欲说还休，却道天凉好个秋 — “about to speak, I let it go, and say instead: what a cool autumn.” That is the instant of exulansis — the words at the lip, swapped for weather. The difference is tense: the poet caught one “never mind”; exulansis is what becomes of the experience after the ten-thousandth.
The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it — whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness — which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.因为别人无法感同身受——或出于嫉妒，或出于怜悯，或只是隔膜——索性放弃讲述某段经历的倾向。它就此漂离你人生故事的其余部分，直到那段记忆本身也显得格格不入，近乎神话，在雾中不安地盘旋，甚至不再寻找落脚的地方。（中译） John Koenig John Koenig · The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows · 2014
He tried twice to describe the year abroad, watched their faces, and let exulansis take it from there. 自拟例句 our own example, not a quotation Veterans know exulansis by heart — some stories you stop telling not because they hurt, but because the room can't hold them. 自拟例句 our own example, not a quotation 不在词典中。 非正式与创意写作；写回忆录、写离散、写「后来我就不提了」的段落，它是那只鸟的名字。
Not in any dictionary. Informal and creative writing; in memoir, in diaspora writing, in any paragraph that ends “after a while I stopped bringing it up” — this is the bird’s name.